Getting Back to (or Finding) What You Love

A story of growing and learning to love where you are right now. 

I awoke in the middle of the night last night as I often do since my home has become so quiet. It was a beautifully cool night allowing me to have my windows open to the brisk air. As I lay there, I heard the call of a single owl looking for a response. In the distance the call of a lone coyote summoning it’s mate. Closer in the crickety sounds of the night bugs singing to each other. I realized my life is full. I’ve lived long enough to raise three very independent but loving sons, seen them find love and give me grandbabies. I’ve taken care of and seen my mother pass on to a new beginning. And during each phase of my full house I was preparing for the silence of the empty nest.

There is an emptiness that remains in a place once filled full with love, laughter, sorrow, and quarrels. We know in our mind they have to move on, to grow up and be independent. But our heart is left empty, leaving us with a need to find fulfillment in other ways.

During the times that we were raising our kids, we felt needed, fulfilled and didn’t often pursue our own passions. In other words, our kids were (are) our passion. We put our dreams and passions aside to do what needs to be done.

I, like many other empty-nesters, gave a huge amount of my time to my kids and their needs. I was a stay at home mom, working from home as they grew older. I was there 24 hours a day for them. Even though I was happy, I put most of my own passions on the back burner.

I’m changing that now.

Some of my before-kids passions no longer appeal to me. Like certain types of crafts or sewing my own clothes. I do want to re-ignite my love to quilt though 😉 . Other passions I’m just discovering and want to explore, like traveling and antiquing.

Filling that empty space with a new passion doesn’t necessarily replace the kids being here. But it does allow me to fill my time doing things that I enjoy, helps me ward off depression by giving me something to look forward to and build a life that is worth living and sharing.

Don’t know what  my passion is anymore

What happens, though, if you don’t know what you’re passionate about, what you love to do? Well, you could spend hours scouring the internet for tests you could take to see what you’re interested in.

Or you could just jump into something. Maybe you have a friend who loves yoga and is always trying to get you to join her. Why not try it one time? Who knows? it might turn into a lifetime love.

Some types of passions I might give a try include:

• Learning to play an instrument. I’ve always wanted to learn the play the guitar. I don’t have the most beautiful voice  but I love to sing and dance and enjoy many different genres of music. I have been looking at different books. I found This guitar book on my Amazon affiliate page and it’s the one I’m thinking of ordering.

• Painting and other forms of art, like throwing pots is something I did when I was in college. ( I have a  degree in art) but I don’t do it very often anymore. Watercolor painting would be the medium of my choice, but acrylics and oils can be fun too. I think I will sign up for a pottery-making class at the local community college.

• Hiking or walking nature trails is both healthy and fun. It lets me get outside, become in tune with nature while getting my body moving. This is definitely a passion I want to pursue more of.  Just have to find a good pair of hiking shoes, 😉 and maybe a hiking freind, if my hubby doesn’t want to join me.

• Or maybe it’ll be something else entirely. I might start volunteering at the local animal shelter or the library or some other place that speaks to my heart. I don’t know yet. What I do know is that I don’t want to be the mom that sits around whining, worrying and depressed and feeling crappy because her kids don’t come visit or call all the time.

Life’s too short

Learning to find fulfillment again doing what you are passionate about, to fill that space that you think can’t be filled, means learning to be happy with your own company.

Besides, haven’t we already discovered life is too short to stop doing what we love. It’s never too late to rediscover your favorite things. If you gave up something when the kids came along, now may be the time to take up that passion again.

If you don’t remember what it is that you used to be passionate about, you may want to think about the activities or interests that you used to love or the dreams that you always wished you could pursue. Try some different things until you find those passions that leave you excited, inspired, and feed the flames of happiness.

Sure I miss having my kids around. But I am happy with the peace in my home. The quiet gives me time to reflect and listen to my own thoughts, to become even closer to my hubby and to finally become the woman, not just the mom, I want to be.

What are you doing to fill that empty spot left in your life?

I’d love to hear from you. Follow me on Facebook or sign up below so we can connect through email.

Join me as we navigate this wonderfully fun new phase!